How To Deal With Change and Other Yellow Lights in Life

How to Be OK with Change in your life:

deal with change

The light is yellow.

It was green, and yet suddenly- maybe when you weren’t expecting it, maybe when you had already committed at a stable pace to head through the light ahead of you… it changes.

Do you slam on the brakes?

Do you peddle to the metal?

That moment of realization that you have to make a decision, that you have to make a commitment, can jar you. Driving analogy aside, life throws many yellow lights your way. I’m not here to tell you how long that yellow light will last- only the yellow light knows that, but I can tell you how to deal with the decision at hand.

Decision making takes a lot of energy.

It is a stressful endeavor. Research says so.

I know first hand. For years I (lovingly) called myself Second Guessing Sooz. My horoscope says I’m a Libra, and apparently that means I’m constantly trying to balance life, often leaving decision making up in the air. It’s an “air” sign, so I like to “go with the flow”, the antithesis for decision making.

But the Flow? It doesn’t always tell you what path to take. That comes from a grounded personality. And being grounded takes a lot of hard work for me, because I’m a floaty, go with the flow, life-is-beautiful kind of girl. I believe I’m led to the things in life that are best for me. People call me optimistic, but I think it’s just faith, belief. If I have an internal knowing that I will know what to do… then won’t I know what to do? Doesn’t that make decision making easy?

Well, yes and no. If you’re also like me, you overanalyze. You get stuck in your head, thinking, thinking, thinking and debating debating debating. Is this the right course? Is this the correct way to go? You may flip flop, you may counter your own arguments. Hell, you may even heatedly fight with yourself.

I wouldn’t know, I’m not you. But I know I do that. I know- especially in moments where decisions seem HUGE- I hesitate, stammer. Deer in the headlights, my fight or flight response is triggered and I want to bolt, or punch Change in the face and steal it’s money. (Ok, maybe not steal, I’m not one for theft)

Change. 

F-ck that guy, amirite?

And yet we’re back on that favorite topic of mine- resistance. Stress IS resistance to change, big or small. If you are holding fear in your body, it causes tension- triggering your sympathetic nervous system to pelt you with hormones and other frantic energy. This energy acts as a poke and prod to DO something- act, now! Life or Death!

It’s not always life or death, as we know, but it’s just energy. Fear is energy that we resist. However, if we switch it up a little, change our perspective on the situation- and see Energy as working FOR us, not against us, we can garner it’s power and turn it into something fantastic.

Turn your energy into excitement.

By going with that flow, by thanking that energy’s presence in your body and allowing it to move through you, inspiring you- you control the situation. Fear into Excitement. If Fear is energy we resist, than Excitement is energy we bear-hug and high five. We’ve accepted that energy as our own, gave it a legit thumbs up, and walked into the future with it.

So are you afraid of this new change in your life? And would you prefer to be? Or do you WANT to let go, move on, decide and get on with it?

It’s your decision.change has boundaries

Medication Reflection- By Guest Blogger Sean Temple

Introducing a blog post by Sean Temple, for His Art is Heart!

  “How many times has someone told you to take a pill to fix something wrong with your body? It starts out small. We have experienced headaches requiring aspirin or ibuprofen to alleviate the pain. We have used salves to cure cuts quickly, remove tooth pain, or relieve sore backs and joints. Substances have greatly impacted our present reality, having us believe anything can be dealt with if only you find the proper dosage of a given remedy. Our physical forms have benefited greatly from medical discoveries and procedures…

but what about the mind?

For a great length of my life, I have fought and experienced mental illness. Often, many people cope with something mentally affecting them, and I knew I wasn’t a special circumstance to the vast dilemma of staying sane. However, we can never disregard that every person’s life is separate, and that they experience struggles differently. It took me a great while to understand this concept. I thought I was weak for not dealing with it properly on my own, and believed that everyone else shunned those who couldn’t cope. I receded into myself and repressed every depressing, sad, hurtful situation that occurred throughout my life.

Pills were always the first or final solution suggested to me by psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists. The truth is these pills remove the sadness and hopelessness, but they do not make you happy. Joy and excitement come from a personal standpoint I believe to be deeply rooted within our conscious mind. We may feel the affects of our brain giving us the right chemicals to feel happy and experience pleasure, but the underlying ability to initiate it comes from an emotional level. As such, conscious behavior does hold power.

Our will is a tool and asset;

If we harness it, we can change a great deal in our lives.

            Obtaining the strength of will I now have has not been easy. It has taken years of perseverance and tribulations that have tested me time and time again. It’s an ongoing process that I am challenged with on a daily basis. Some days are worse than others, and some days I hardly think about it at all. I feel every single emotion, every tide of anger, and every sad thought. I allow myself to accept what I am feeling as it is. I have learned to not simply repress it with apathy and try to forget about it.

By doing this, every situation has become a debate that I win.

Every negative self-perception is challenged by my consciousness. No matter what happens, I do not accept that I am worthless or that I must feel guilty.

“You don’t deserve happiness.” I am sure we could all list a handful of reasons why many of us might think this is true, but in all honesty, we as humans are not entitled to anything other than the essentials; I believe these to be food, shelter, water, and love. The world is not responsible for our happiness– we are. Once we learn not to rely on certain outside factors to make us happy, and instead find a silver lining regardless of the situation, we become more observant of the gain rather than the loss.

“No one cares.” As humans, we adapt. Most of us learn to cope with a situation and move on. I believed that family, friends, and those I loved would be sad temporarily and forget about me. As logical as it was in my head, I forgot to think it through completely. Many of us do feel pain and recover in time. When you get a cut or burn, the pain remains for a time, and then it dissipates; You heal. However, a scar tends to remain and always reminds people of why it is there. What about the process? Who or what put the cut or burn there? The idea is the same for attempting or committing suicide. People may recover, but they didn’t need to feel that pain in the first place. Loved one’s should not have to suffer because of someone else’s sadness and actions.

“Nothing has gone right. Why would it get better?” This was by far the hardest thought process I, personally, had to conquer. I was so used to everything going wrong that I couldn’t perceive anything going right. I assumed anything remotely good that happened was eventually going to end badly. Why bother, right? I forced myself to challenge that thought over time. I tell myself, “Life is a constant flow of ups and downs. It’s not supposed to stay up, and it’s not supposed to stay down the entire time. Be patient, and take each step, one at a time.” I learned to become more grateful for the small things. I enjoyed even just having ice cream for the day. I took a shower– wonderful! I ate today! I got up for work! Once we begin to appreciate everything that we do for ourselves, we can start moving on to bigger goals. We can change our lives around, whether it immediately or slowly. There is no set way in life to do things, as much as others may tell us otherwise.

Pills help our physical bodies, and I do not deny that they also help those who have chosen to take them for their mental health. We do have the option of willpower to aid us. It is not for everyone, but it is a possibility we should never ignore or dismiss. I believe the human mind is capable of many great things, and we can control our life without a substance controlling it for us. I am happy to know I struggled and came out stronger without pills. If you are in a situation where you have to decide to take pills for depression, anxiety, or etc, I recommend opening up to the possibility of trying a safe medication that can help you, but never feel pressured into believing you can’t cope without taking meds. If you can trust yourself, you can access that willpower. I believe in me, and so I believe in you.